(Music starts) (Portrait of Lawndale with words: LAWNDALE TONIGHT)

Dari (V/O): It's Lawndale Tonight, Starring; Jane Lane! I'm Daria Morgendorffer, along with Nick Tyler and the Lawndale County Orchestra inviting you to join Jane and her guests: ***, ***, and noted entomologist, Richard Lobinske. And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's JANE LANE!

(Cut to: stage area. Bare floor with multi-colored curtain up-stage. The center of the curtain parts, revealing Jane. She looks to be in her early thirties, with one ear ring in each ear. Her hair is cut slightly shorter, even on each side and combed to curl toward her neck along the bottom. She is wearing a tan pantsuit with a black blouse. The barest hint of stage makeup has been added to her usual red lipstick.)

Jane (Holds up a hand as audience applauds loudly): Thank you! (Waits as the audience continues, then repeats herself. This goes on for almost a minute before people settle down.) Thank you very much. Glad you're here. It's nice to see you're in a good mood. Huh? (Jane bends down to hear what someone in front of the audience is saying.) Oh. (Looks to her right.) They're just glad to be in out of the rain.

(As audience chuckles, cut to: Daria is shaking her head as she stands in front of a stand-up microphone. She is also in her early thirties, with her hair cut shorter but otherwise the same. She is in a black skirt and jacket with a white blouse and smaller but still round glasses.)

Daria: At least this crowd is smart enough to come in out of the rain.

Jane (After waiting for the laughter to settle): I see you're getting flashbacks to high school again. (Waits for the few laughs to stop.) The rain is really bad now, though.

Audience member: How bad is it?

(Jane glances over at Daria in surprise. Daria shrugs back at her.)

Daria: You're the host.

Jane: And you're a big help. (Takes a deep breath before turning back to audience/camera.) It's so bad that the zoo had to call the Angst Guy down to wring out the penguins.